Times Change As Well As Friends

When entering different phases as a teenager, you may lose and gain friends regularly. At times, this may be difficult. For instance, maybe you had a childhood friend that always seemed to be there. But you notice that they start to change after time and when they are also becoming a teenager. And you notice you never get along anymore because of how much that person changed. Or maybe you are that friend, and you notice the connections you had with that one friend, start to fade away as you grow older. Because of this, you may have a fall out with them, or simply grow apart and only speak to them once in a long time. At first, this may seem difficult, but after time, it will become more and more simple.

There are many different causes of this, for example; The one friend you once felt close to, becomes the person who hates you and you hate them back. They always seem to be spreading false lies about you, and try to ruin your reputation with everyone else. They say cruel things to your face and can even bully you physically. There are quite a few ways to deal with this. But what I always dreamed of doing with people like this, is to give them a bloody nose, but as I have come to realize and learn, violence is never the answer unless you are defending yourself.

If you are confident, the best thing to do is to confront them by themselves in a public place and make it known, that however they are messing with you, is not right whatsoever. The reason this is safe to do when you might worry they would fire back at you is that usually, people hurt you. After all, they want to make themselves feel better and feel bigger, when in all reality, they are cowards. So confronting them and being a bit loud, might put them in their place. If you don't feel strong enough to do this, simply smile and walk past them every time they try to throw insults at you. The point of this, is to show them they can't get to you no matter how hard they try, and eventually, they will only accomplish hurting themselves instead. If they continue, it would be best to tell a trusting adult.

If the case is that you and your old best friend are growing apart, don't be too desperate, more people will come your way, who you may be able to connect with more. But you never have to forget that old friend or the special memories you had together. Those memories will form your life, and always give your childhood a special glow when you think back.

The next thing you may want to consider is who to choose for an ideal friend, and who to avoid. If someone is giving you constant flattery, know that to be a red flag. In most cases, people overdo this so they can put your guard down and hurt you when you may be vulnerable. If someone comes to you talking bad about other people, just remember, they can do the same to you when you don't expect it, NEVER give them the information you don't want anyone else to find out about. If you see someone being cruel to others, it is definitely best to steer clear of them. And never be someone's friend just because you feel bad for them, that is the wrong way to start a good friendship. Let it be because you can get along with them easily, they fit your personality, and are always making you better, rather than bringing you down.

The next thing to think about is not to isolate yourself, I did this for quite a long time, and it only pushed me further and further into depression. Never be afraid to be in your own spotlight rather than hiding in the shadows. Don't be scared to create memories that can last you a lifetime.

Another thing to think about is what kind of friend group to be in. Obviously, you got different clicks wherever you go, especially in school. But when picking a group to be around, always consider how you want others to see you, then look at how everyone else looks at each friend group. For example, if you want to have a good reputation(which is always best), you would want to hang around those who can have fun but still be careful not to make major mistakes. The group you choose to be around will always reflect who you are. When you are wanting to start making friends, introducing yourself is always the best thing to start with. Don't look too desperate for friends. And you don't need to feel nervous, the only bad thing that could happen is that they are jerks and you can move on to somewhere better.

Never be afraid to do what is right, if the group or person you are friends with is always bringing you into trouble, it's best to count your losses and skip them. No friend or group is worth you ruining yourself over just so they can turn on you in the end. Always try to make smart decisions.

If you see that you can't really find where you fit in, just let friends come to you, always be happy, walk with good pride, and most importantly, be yourself, and others will eventually gravitate towards you. If not, none of them would have been good friends anyways and you can just move on to bigger and better things.

It is always important to make sure your new friends are making you happy if they aren't, you shouldn't be around them. If they ever insult you then hide behind "Oh, it's just a joke.", know that instantly to be a red flag.

When keeping all this in mind, it will be easier to find better friends and you will be able to enjoy your teenage years a lot better.